Hey people 😍😍😍😍 Happy Sunday to you all!!! Trust you all, my revered readers, are doing great!!!
Well, as it's the Love Season, we thought to give you some special love token 💕💕💕
It's an Exclusive Interview with a Super awesome Woman, Boluwatife Oladipupo ,as she loads us with so much wisdom as regards relationship and family. It's a long read, but I assure you that you will enjoy every bit of it. Enjoy!!!
LODF: We are honored to have you on this segment MA. Can we meet you ma'am?
Our Guest:My name is Boluwatife Oladipupo. I love God, family, life and strategy. I am married to my best friend, Isaac and together we have an adorable daughter, Zoey Tioluwanimi.
LODF: What inspires you as a purpose driven and goal oriented woman?
Our Guest :Living for God, service to men and my life’s dreams have been my greatest source of inspiration.
LODF: You own an organization, BestHomes Inc., what inspired the establishment?
Our Guest: BestHomes came to be following an unusual encounter I had with God December 2013 at my cousin’s wedding. The preacher at the event sounded like an angel reminding me about what I knew I had to do to contribute to more wholesome homes.
Prior to this time, I had had a nudging to start a family building unit but my excuse was that I was still unmarried.
I could no longer run from this, so I called a meeting with about 7 friends and shared the infectious vision with them, mapped out action plans and that was how BestHomes was born.
In addition, I also happen to be fiercely passionate about family based on some personal experience from childhood. It’s amazing how God has turned those experiences into an uplifting message for families.
LODF: You hosted an event last year that had the likes of Pastor Nike Adeyemi in attendance, revolving around family/relationship, what inspired you to organize that event ma’am?
Our Guest: BestHomes Inc. organizes this event annually to gather people who are purposefully looking to enrich their family life. Last year was just our fourth physical edition.
We plan to reach even more people through our online hangouts this year and beyond God-willing.
LODF: In your opinion ma'am, how would you describe an healthy relationship /marriage?
Our Guest: I believe a healthy relationship is one fit for purpose, where both partners feel connected and have mutual respect for each other.
A couple in a healthy relationship feel safe with one another. They accept and encourage each other to live their best lives.
A healthy relationship is one that has God at the center of it all; the more we become like God really, the healthier and better our relationships and marriages get.
LODF: As a relationship coach, do you think love alone is enough to keep the fire burning in a relationship/marriage?
Our Guest: Love is a strong force and requisite that can withhold external negative forces in relationships. However, love alone in my opinion isn’t strong enough to keep a marriage.
Love is great and very crucial but there are many couples who are in love but suffering for lack knowledge on how to deal with each other’s strength and weaknesses.
For instance, you may love your spouse and not be deliberate about expressing it. This may make your spouse feel otherwise. Marriage can be very rewarding but requires partnership with God, wisdom and dedication.
LODF: Some people get really confused about Choice for a partner and they ask, do you choose a partner or does God choose for you? What do you say to this ma'am?
Our Guest:This is a tricky one. I would put it this way “You choose a partner with God”. God chose for Adam and we know what happened. The choose of who to marry is yours to make in partnership with God.
LODF: Communication? Respect? What exactly is the most important in relationships/marriages?
Our Guest : Both are very important components in any relationship. One can’t work in isolation really. The level of importance of each may vary relationship to relationship.
Communication is the lifeblood of any relationship or marriage. Communication allows both partners to connect on a deep level, it allows for profound understanding of each other, and without communication there can be no relationship really.
Respect on the other hand is relative. And based on the relativity per relationship, partners need to communicate how they both feel respected.
LODF: What would you say is the bedrock for a happy/fulfilling relationship?
Our Guest: First, God! In all realness, Christ is the very cord that holds marriages together. Many, I mean loads of relationships would have broken without God in it. That being said, no couple should take this for granted because whilst God is the bedrock of any marriage, the couples have sole responsibilities and major roles to play to enjoy marital bliss.
Second would be knowledge. More marriages would thrive effortlessly if couples take time to embrace knowledge towards understanding their spouses and the marriage institution as a whole.
Marriage and relationships require a lot of dying to self I tell you.
LODF: How can differences, growth or changes be managed in a relationship?
Our Guest: Okay, I would take these one by one.
Differences: This is such a blessing. Isaac and I reviewed our temperaments recently and we saw why we act the way we do. We realized we simply complement each other though we are very different.
I believe couples can make their differences work for them if they are humble enough. God wired us differently and there’s a reason your partner behaves the way he/she does.
Growth: Taking time to understand your spouse’s nature and temperaments will enable you to nurture them and help them grow. Understanding each other’s strengths and weaknesses helps to bring out the best in them. When you master the art of bringing out the best in your spouse, you’re on to marital success.
Growth, individually or collectively, has to be deliberate. It is even best when both parties are on this same growth page together.
Change: As with everything in life, change is constant and we can’t stop the imminence of this in marriage. Changes would come and go; it’s our reaction to them that determines whether they make our relationships better or otherwise. Some changes leave couples worse but you and your partner must agree that you wouldn’t let your case be like that.
Personally, our most recent change is an addition to the family. Zoey has my attention like 100% (why won’t she, she’s such a joy) and at first, Isaac was very understanding.
This ‘understanding’ of course made me shower her with even more attention. It was recently he confirmed that it was too obvious I paid him not much attention, hahaha. Then I had a brain reset, lol.
LODF: MA, you've been married for over two years, what would you say is the idea behind the common saying that “Love is blind but marriage is an eyeopener”?
Our Guest:I can relate with the idea. But see how I describe it:
I would share a personal story to this effect. Mr O (my dear husband) and I were reminiscing over how our dates prior to marriage looked. How we related with each other and housed all the butterflies in the world.
Whilst I still feel strongly and warmness when with him, I can tell you categorically that love is now more thoughtful. We now see each other beyond the face level. If one isn’t careful, either partner might take the other for granted.
Proximity can certainly cause disrespect. A prophet naturally isn’t honored in his hometown except the town dwellers deliberately seek to honor him. In a shorter form, ‘see finish’ can cause loads of issues.
The solution here is being wary. To keep the flame of love, we have to be deliberate about our dealings with each other, experiences and the likes.
So yes, love, in this sense, doesn’t see all your good and flaws as much as marriage will expose them.
LODF: How would you advise a person who has been hurt in part relationships and has given up about future relationship(s)
Our Guest: Hmmm, this is an incredible question.
I have been there done that. I am a living testimony to the fact that your past shouldn’t necessarily define your future. You can sure have beauty for ashes.
After about four failed relationships, I needed a clear head to be able to check why they failed and why I kept hurting. In one case, I found it was a rebound (that was my shortest relationship as it lasted for two days short of two weeks, lol).
In another case, I noticed the young man and I were just cool together, nothing more, chai!
I would advise a non-pity-party self-audit first. Is it possible to explain why the past relationships were the way they were.
Truth is sometimes we sacrifice ourselves to be lamps and then we wonder why we were burnt. Some other times, we just made the wrong call and the way we were treated was not our fault.
Someone who is hurting should primarily be deliberate about healing first. This would ensure the hurt-cycle is not continued. Hurting people hurt others. And heart matters can take a while to be healed.
Run from music or any other message that will do your heart in. It really isn’t the time to listen to ‘Irreplaceable by Beyonce’.
Get support from the right people, family and friends.
Ultimately, say no to rebound relationship. This means don’t jump on the next available relationship. You might be going into it with some fog in your eyes.
It’s very key to also read far and wide on how to ‘do’ relationships. Sometimes a change of mindset might be all that is required to avoid unfair expectations or break foundational issues.
In conclusion, I’m sending you love and light.
LODF: Any advice for single adults?
Our Guest: Sure, I have a sturdy message.
Know yourself and grow with you. Be committed to yourself. Enjoy life and it’s essence. Enjoy your own company. Travel. Volunteer. Just make the most of singlehood.
Marriage isn’t where life starts.
If one is a miserable single, marriage will only magnify misery.
Be a whole person. Be an all-round person. Beauty is transitory, character is what stays.
Also, please don’t settle. God has the very best for you.
That's it FAM ❤❤❤ If you read it to this point, you are the real MVP!!! Trust you learnt a lot from this!
A big gratitude to our Guest! We celebrate you ma'am!
Kindly drop your comments.
Good to read from you once again, it's been a while
ReplyDelete"I am a living testimony to the fact that your past shouldn’t necessarily define your future. You can sure have beauty for ashes." Thank you Ma'am for this timely confirmation.
Thank you Vicky! Missed you too 😄😄😄 Glad you enjoyed it
DeleteWowww....absolutely awesome!. Lots of deep stuffs that got me going over and over.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing from your deep well of wisdom ma. I surely would love to explore more😊
Keep the good work going LODF. More grace.
Great great great!! ! Good to have you here Ola 😍😍 Yes, many thanks to our guest. Thanks for reading through too
DeleteWow! This is such a good read. I rally learnt a whole lot.
ReplyDeleteAwww!!!Getting emotional right now😧😄😄Thank you Ife!
DeleteI had to finish this,I literally couldn't drop my phone. This was beautiful
ReplyDeleteWonuola 😍😍😍😍So glad to have you here! Thankful that you loved it
DeleteGreat and Inspiring!
ReplyDeleteGood to have you here sir! Thank you so much!
DeleteHighly inspiring
ReplyDelete